When a new invention is formulated in Canada, it is not mandatory to seek a patent for the invention. The decision of whether to file a patent application is left to the inventor. In most cases, a patent will only be sought if it is considered likely that the invention will be embraced by consumers. However, there is always some risk that the inventor, perhaps caught up in the heat of invention, may overestimate the likelihood of this eventuality. As a result, some of the patents that have been sought in Canada describe inventions that are, at best, unlikely to be commercially successful, and at worst are unlikely to taken seriously by anyone. We have singled out four Canadian patents as being good examples of this phenomenon, and have summarized them below. We hope that you find them to be as entertaining as we did.
Canadian Patent No. 385,534: “Halitosis Detector”. This patent describes a curved tube that is placed over the mouth by which exhaled halitosis is directed upwards to the nose for detection. Apparently the apparatus is intended for people who cannot be bothered to cup their hands over their mouth and nose whenever the need to check their breath arises (or perhaps for people whose hands are so tiny that this would be impossible – see FIG. 1).
Canadian Patent No. 487,905: “Exercising Helmet”. This patent covers an exercising helmet having an upwardly projecting post upon which weights are stacked for exercising the neck. It seems that the helmet design is loosely based upon the headgear of human cannonballs.
Canadian Patent No. 568,044: “Date Hat”. This invention is intended for use by “adolescents, and especially teen-age girls” for indicating their date status. It is a hat that conveys whether the wearer is available for a date on a particular day and time which are indicated by adjustable pointers on the hat. When a flap labeled “TAKEN” is lowered, this means that the wearer is unavailable for a date at that day and time. We find it ironic that frequent wearers of such hats may find themselves never needing to lower the flap.
Canadian Patent No. 2,046,099: “Chin Muscle Tonifier”. This patent addresses the heretofore unknown problem of untoned chin muscles. The invention is apparently an inflatable ring which constricts the jaw, forcing the wearer to exercise his chin muscles when speaking. We suspect that the most commonly spoken phrase by wearers of this apparatus might be, “Please release me from this contraption!”
In searching for the above-described patents, we encountered a number of patents whose titles alone evoked incredulity or amusement, including: Canadian Patent No. 335,945 “Bacon Straightening Device” – saving the world from the scourge that is crooked bacon; Canadian Patent No. 48,326 “Moustache Adjuster” – possibly just a small comb; and Canadian Patent No. 972,954 “Eel Holder” – providing welcome relief to those who perpetually drop their eels.
Peter A. Elyjiw, Toronto